Lily Blacksell

Loose Lips
 
 
A cormorant diving nearby at the time couldn’t help
couldn’t help but notice all the sea’s salt and all the cold water
 
cold water did not remove the rust-red stains from her skirts
her skirts whirled like turmoil around her neck and head her knickers
 
first bloomed then flattened and stayed where they were
with arms outstretched as if to keep her balance she looked
 
she looked almost ready for anything and her mouth wide open
wide open and covered over with petticoat was only agape
 
for her sigh of relief and the bird had never seen bubbles so
so so elegant before and he had never seen such dry blood


*


More Where That Came From
 
 
Finding the email from his secret French girlfriend
which detailed some of a shared love of Cocteau Twins
and evidenced quite a history of longing and immature fantasy
not unlike my own was only ever going to be
the postbox-red cherry on top of a hideous sweating
whisky-shot milkshake wasn’t it, as in
there was enough there to make me sick.
What do Americans call them? Hard shakes?
I could have got him by the shoulders
if that’s what you mean. I was seventeen
for fuck’s sake. He loved someone else
the choice was made for me, the milk was on the turn,
I had to keep slurping, I could hardly stop now.


*


And Then, Let’s Call Her Chloe, Turned Up
 
 
so much the last person I wanted to see I didn’t even see her
not to say she wasn’t waving, pigeon-toed in scuffed brown brogues
with actual lace for laces which you might think is cute but doesn’t fool me
 
I realised who she was in time but too late: Hi hi didn’t spot you
to be honest so hungover I can only see the bus stop where I’m heading
I’m going to lean against it, you know, really lean. Why would you want to wait with me
 
Chloe, I just know you’ve never peeled yourself off a white pleather sofa
with a head on your lap in the morning, Fast and Furious on the TV
and a man in a box completely convinced he is in fact in a car
sorry I didn’t clock you from the off, I am slow today but hope you’re well
I am not and this has spun me
 
how many syllables would you say there are in struggling
 
when I’m like this, Chloe, which is not often, I’m thankful
to be in no way beholden to a brass or marching band
have you ever played a tuba worse for wear
I know you played the flute at school, that isn’t what I’m saying
just imagine the exertion, no thank you
 
a sousaphone though, something soothing about that
tucking your head through the gap as it throbs
the cool brass pressed to the back of your neck but even then
a bell will heat right up as it fills with breath and spittle
condensation, Chloe, not condescension
stop looking at me like that
 
last night a guy made martinis from ice and anything he could find
freaking out when the shaker stuck to his hand, my friend Angela
no you don’t know her, you’d like her but she wouldn’t like you
was once a cocktail waitress so she’d seen it all before and told him
I’d probably retch if I were to witness a French horn player
empty the water from their chute or whatever right now
 
as for the saxophone, sure that’s no fun when you’re fragile
but less trouble with droplets, the reed you see, just suck in
through the mouthpiece like you’re wincing, which I am
or disapproving like you
 
it hurts to move my eyes but I can tell that’s my bus at the corner
and in a minute my imaginary band will make a noise together
which will split my heart to hear, have you heard the phrase
I wish you well to wear it before because it’s echoing in there
 
I’ll be heaving through my embouchure, hard won, notes not
coming as easily as I’d like and I’m sweating but they’ll be there
successively, practise till you can’t get it wrong as they say, hey Chloe
I’ll think yes yes yes, get ready for the trumpet and the flugelhorn, adorable
the trombone will sound like a chuckle at a joke not shared with anyone not even you

9  Hey, That’s No Way to Say Goodbye
10  Better Things
11  Bring Down the Birds
12  Hang On
14  The Pangs
15  Barrels Upright
16  Will I Ever
18  Compliments Please
19  The Ballad of Standing a Chance
21  Seamus Heaney’s Eyes Were Small But I Knew a Seamus Whose Eyes Were Bulging
22  The One About the Woman Overboard
24  Loose Lips
25  Hand Claps
26  Noontime Newtown
28  More Where That Came From
29  Ulysses
31  Mistral
32  Well Done, Emma
34  Fear Yourself
35  The Causeway
37  An Unsuitable Landing Place
38  Rude and Natural
40  One Day, Maybe Next Week
43  The Hell with It
44  If You’re Thinking What I’m Thinking
47  Lamp Poem
48  Even On This Hill
50  Royal Jelly
52  Toft Barn Dream
53  Thus To Be Shifted from One Person to Another
54  Four Donkeys in a Paddock
56  Mr Right Is Hot Responsibly
58  Long Walks in the Dark and Handsome
60  Show the Ferret to the Egg
62  Pigeon Coo Farm
63  Far Be It from Me
64  Our Landlady of the Lord Louis
68  Frog
69  How Can I Make It Taste of Something?
70  Glastonbury
71  And Then, Let’s Call Her Chloe, Turned Up
73  Withying
74  Nice and Straight and Tall
75  Bounty
77  Now You Listen to Me
79  I Cannot Expect You to Understand Me Without Examples