Buttercup the Sloth
Part 1: The Letter
18 Mothers
19 The Frantic Hens
20 Easter at My Grandmother’s
21 Kittens
22 Tiger-moths
23 Never Be Alone with a Goose
24 My Mother and the Yachtsmen
25 I Disagree with Everything She Says
26 Mrs M.
27 Jam
38 The Tin Containing Butterdrops
29 Fairy Liquid
30 Armbands
31 Garages Make Me Feel Sick
32 Mrs P.
33 Glass
34 Zoo
35 Red Ants
36 The Letter
Part 2: Sunnyside
39 The Clock
40 Centipede
41 Everything Is Coming Together
42 How to Lay Eggs
43 Coconut
44 The Hunt
45 The Queen
46 Surrender, Surrender
47 Tinny Cows
48 Songbird
49 Boxes
50 Pig Farming
51 The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire in Hardback
52 Summer Nights
55 Honey
54 Buckets
55 I Contradict Everything She Says
56 Swimming in the Dark
Part 3: Sugar
58 Sugar
59 The Eyelashes of Ostriches
60 God Has Thought of Everything
61 Ostriches
62 Rodeo
63 When Darkness Falls
64 Eerie Bittern
65 The Bearded Man
66 Monster Cloud Formations
67 The Knife
68 Fish
69 Miss T.
70 Virginity
71 The Gold Handbag
72 Ratbag
73 Lily
74 Chomsky
75 The Violinists and the Viola Players
76 My Mother at the Station
Part 4: Swimming Chickens
79 Swimming Chickens
80 Tennis with My Mother
81 Radish
82 Mrs L.
83 Psychiatrists
84 The Hospital
85 Sister
86 My Mother’s Devotion
87 My Only Suitor
88 My Mother’s Car
89 The Key to Happiness
90 Tender Mice
91 Home
92 Flower
93 Dog
94 Husbands
95 Breath
96 Snowball
Lobo-Lobo
99 Ankle Socks
100 The Person with the Red Suitcase
101 Giants
102 My Sisters’ Little Sister
103 The Centre of the Universe
104 Goldfish
105 Dressed Echidna
106 Rowley
107 Snow
108 My Baby
109 Pug
110 Unexpected Booms of Cassowaries
111 My Sisters in their Cowboy Hats
112 Don’t You Dare Open My Door
113 Our Lonely House
114 Dogs Are Not Allowed in the Drawing-room
115 Arson
116 The Violinists
117 The World’s Deepest Lake
118 Lobo-Lobo
119 If a Clock
120 The Dolls
121 They Hate the Cold
122 The Earwigs Are Distraught
123 My Almond Snowman Cake
124 Ginger Cookies
125 Only in Their Dreams
126 They Want Meringues
127 Being Friends or Not Being Friends
128 My Sisters’ Nostrils
129 My Sisters’ Noses
130 The Fish on the Sofa
131 My Sisters’ Hair
132 A Game of Telegrams
133 Honey
134 Angels from the Realms of Glory
135 Other People’s Cars
136 My Sisters’ Faces
137 As Ugly as a Shoebill
138 Blister-packs
139 Baking
140 Ponies
141 Going Shopping
142 Men
143 Bungalow
144 My Sisters’ Necks
145 The Spider
146 Toilet-bags
147 Heron
148 The Doctor
149 This Paradise of Love
150 Up and Down the Stairs
151 What I Really Want to Do
152 Dispirin
153 Trombones
154 My Sisters’ Cars
155 Enormous Flowers Wrapped in Cellophane
156 The Snowdrop
157 My Sisters’ Body-parts
158 Compassion
159 The Giant Rabbit
160 In Rooms That Echo Like Suburban Swimming-pools
161 Shrimps
162 The Tender Nurses
163 The Heavens
Behold My Father on His Bicycle
167 Behold My Father in a Little Hat
168 My Father’s Hands
169 Lollipops
170 Thunderflies
171 The Party
172 The Finnish Word for Please
173 Entomology
174 Tarmac
175 Chocolate Semolina
176 My Father’s Hat
177 It Happens All the Time
178 Anaesthesia
179 My Father’s Watch
180 Boys in Shorts
181 Oscillating Sprinklers
182 Men Who Ride
183 The Hutch at the End of the Garden
184 Hope
185 Duct-tape
186 The Girl
187 My Father’s Birthday
188 Violets
189 Children Who Start Crying
190 Knots
191 Aquaria
192 Pebbles
193 The Lake District
194 Mountaineers
195 Swans
196 Antarctica
197 Chess
198 Everyone Likes Sex
199 Heat
200 Cyclists
201 Sugar Lumps
202 Boxer Shorts
203 Ricky Hatton
204 Boys on Bicycles
205 My Father’s Friends
206 Swimwear
207 Strawberries
208 The Feel of Noughts
209 Golf
210 Greyhounds
211 Starry Nights
212 The King
213 Carp
214 The Nurse
215 Acrobatics
216 Periwinkle Blue
217 Kandinsky
218 The Coffee Drinker
219 The Maid
220 Keeper of My Bath
223 Acknowledgements
